ATTRACTIVE ANGER

For me, this season has been filled with moments of rage.  Never before in my life have I been more explosive with my emotions and reactions.  Big things, little things and everything in between set me off in ways that are completely new to me. 

I’m mad that the trip had to be canceled.

I’m angry that people are hoarding toilet paper.

I’m enraged over comment sections on social media.

I’m boiling over people not behaving the way they are supposed to.

I’m livid about the prospects of the next few months.

I’m generally not an angry person, and yet this season has brought it out of me.  Why is it that when pressed, so many of us grab ahold anger?

When I pause to ask myself what is really going on internally, I’m usually afraid of the answer I find all too often:  grief.

I find myself in grief of the breakdown, let down and hopelessness that is all around me.  And let’s be honest, there is a lot to grieve during this season.  The economy is in ruins, relationships are in pieces over politics and culture wars, a virus has run amuck over the globe and real people are sick and dying.  Rather than fully enter into the sadness of the moment, our natural response is often to cover up with anger. 

Why is mad so much more attractive than sad?

Of the wide spectrum of human emotions, grief often feels the most out of our control.  It comes like waves, often unsuspecting when they will hit.  Grief causes us to halt physically and mentally, taking over so much of our faculties.  For many of us, it can feel like an endless ocean with depths that will eventually choke the air out of our lungs. 

Anger, on the other hand, can feel empowering.  It may seem out of our control, but at least we aren’t burned by it.  Unlike grief, we can often shove it down, channel it, redirect it, wield it like a sword.  Yes, the pain may be transferred to others we love, but at least our hearts are protected by the massive walls of anger. 

When we choose anger as our drug of choice, we are declaring that we can save ourselves with this powerful force field of rage.  So, it makes sense that God would be close to the broken hearted, but ask us to not let the sun go down on our anger.  It’s in entering into the suffering that the God of peace can truly heal. 

So next time you find yourself gravitating to the attractive pull of anger, pause.
Be willing to enter into the grief.  A savior is waiting for you there.